article20A mother is a child’s first friend. This strong friendship is formed right at the time of conception. Upon birth, it is the mother who remains our first connection in the world. Thus begins our experience with relationships. Every person who comes in this world is born with a web of relationships. Relationships therefore become our source of strength and stress. ”If your relations are not broken, there is definitely a fracture somewhere” says Shree Bhagavan.

I cannot even start to explain to you how critical mending our relationships is, for spiritual growth. Each time we take birth we carry forward our baggage of our unresolved relationships of the past.  This burden keeps growing. Things keep getting worse. Each time we come in this world, we forge more relationships and our problems compound.

There are 3 basic reasons as to why relationships get sour.

A) Judgement: Judging others comes to us effortlessly even though we do not like when others judge us. Judging works as acid and corrodes our ties.

  1. B) Blame game: Whenever something goes wrong it usually is never our fault. We are experts at defending our case, overlooking our faults and holding others responsible. Such finger pointing definitely spoils a healthy relationship. People who keep picking on others are not even aware of the damage they do.
  2. C) Ego games: It is not ‘We’ but ‘I’, ‘Mine’, ‘Me’ that comes into play in our relationships. Our ego drives us to play games of one upmanship. There are some popular sports of ego -1) Dominating the other: There is always a dominating figure in every relationship. I have never come across a household without a dominating figure.
    2) Proving the other wrong: We put half our energy into proving the other wrong rather than setting ourselves right.
    3) Poor me attitude: Going down the self pity mode is another defence mechanism we have, to avoid facing our mistakes.Not many people know that the cause of a problematic relationship can also arise from a misaligned or a falsely activated Chakra. Insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy, instability, suppression etc. are all rooted in dysfunctional chakras.Many factors contribute in us killing our relationships with our own hands. We are the cause of our own misery. Relationships are to treasure and are the means to progress spiritually. There are many spiritual techniques I conduct in my workshops to help mend relationships. But to start with I would recommend awareness and honesty. The first step towards mending our relations is to take a good look inside and become aware of what we contribute in our relations. Let us begin by asking ourselves what kind of relations do we share with our near and dear ones? What role do we play in our relationships?  It helps to remember that you have taken birth to mend the issues you have created and not to add on to them. Every person you meet in your life has been put there to help you grow. It is up to you to realize this and act upon it.


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